Thursday, 31 October 2013

Recommitting (sp?)...again

I know I've done this a few times, but a thought has struck me recently. I keep saying that I'll put more blog posts up next month when I'm not so busy, but being honest, that's just a pile of crap. The fact is that I really don't want to feed you bull anymore. I could say that I'm really busy right now with University work and that I'll post next month but then next month I have more University work and my job, then in January it's the same and it's touch and go whether I make it to Caledonian.

February, University work again, March, tournaments galore, April and May, University work, late May through to September, at work again, and so the cycle restarts again. Thus, I really need to decide what to do with this. I could shut it down, after all, I've been running this one man show for almost 2 years now and it no longer has the fresh new vibe that it used to. I can't be bothered with the Codex Analysis anymore as I like to be thorough but there are just far too many units per book for me to cover individually, plus if you're looking for a slot by slot breakdown there are loads about. The only issue with that is that it's flooded with keyboard warriors, not all of them are, but a lot. Meatshield over at Perpetually Thwarted knows what he's on about though so I'd pop you over in his direction.

I'm guessing this all stems for a rather large amount of disillusionment with the hobby if I'm honest. And I'm going to break this down into segments. I've always enjoyed the competitive side of the game, what I really enjoy is the puzzle of working out how to win, this is why I don't play meta lists, everyone knows what they do, how they do it and why they win. To me it's a bit like using cheat codes on Pokemon games, there's no puzzle, it's already been solved, simply turn up and wreck face.

The best thing about non meta lists is that they're cheap, because you don't have to update them every week because they aren't the meta and so no-one is building armies specifically to counter them.

That said, I've encountered some issues with my Chaos list recently. It's difficult to work out how it works, but once you do, ok, you take it to a tournament, and you see how it does, but once you've been to a couple of 2 day events, and you've played the list so much that you are now the king of Land Raider combat (or not), then you start to get bored. I finished the army in July, and I'm already planning my next project.

My wallet cannot sustain this, I am sitting next to a top-spec gaming computer fully installed with all sorts of expensive guff, I then have this expensive hobby, plus I'm playing £9,000 + Accomodation plus living expenses. On top of that, I am playing like supreme crap.

I'm at that stage where I can go down to the local GW, which isn't the worst GW for competitively play, and whack a couple of seals on a 4x4 board if I want to, but the moment that I play anywhere else I get dominated. I played against a Wraithwing army the other day, even with the insta-killing of the Land Raider with a Haywire Bomb court that's not a horrendous match up for me, but even with sneaky and if I may say so impressive plays I still lost pretty heavily.

I then played a Mr Sackett on Vassal, who is one of the top players in this country, and since then I have actively been putting off playing a game. Not because of Mr Sackett, who was actually a really cool guy to play, but because I played so badly that I am embarrassed to turn up at a tabletop. Beginner mistake after beginner mistake plagued my game. I am happy to concede that that was the worst that I've played since starting this blog. It was horrific.

So, what I am going to attempt to do, to re-ignite this blog and my interest in the hobby, is make a post every day. Without the reads I will struggle however as that is what really motivates me so please keep checking back to see what's going up. It's not going to be all tournament stuff, it's going to be a bit of a mix. List ideas, ongoing hobby work, extra nerdy nonchalance, etc.

Apologies if this is a little out of the blue, it's almost 3am, I barely sleep nowadays, I'm a bit paranoid, stressed and I've had a little drink. Speaking of which, since the Tau release I have started to suffer from a degree of anxiety, and this also surfaces at tournaments. So far, from tournaments alone I have befouled:

A gutter outside Worthing train station, a lay by on the A62, the bathrooms of a service station near Nottingham, and a patch of reeds of a footpath in the Peak District (the last two more so). Enjoy your day.


  1. It sounds like you've hit the wall mate. The UK tournament meta is incredibly competitive at the moment, and many people agree that its not in a good way. It seems to me that, like me, your not having much FUN playing 40k at the moment.

    A hard fought, to-the-wire, competitive game of 40k against a like-minded person is obviously fun for us (otherwise, why go to tournaments), but the lack of variety, and the sheer broken unimaginative filth that people are copying from the internet, is really sucking the enjoyment out of the game!

    For me, this started when tau became everyone's least favorite opponent (I miss surprising people with the old dex), but it also coincided with some changes in my real life. Nothing major, just a change in my priorities, but what its done is made me have a lot less patience with 40k as a hobby. The whole point is to enjoy it right? If its doing your head in, stressing you out, annoying you or making you vomit in train stations then a change is needed!

    I'm sure your like me in that you don't want to give this hobby up. but it sounds like you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is you really enjoy about it. If the blog is becoming hard work then changing its focus is a good idea, but committing to a post a day is crazy! find the motivation first-then increase your blog output! also, make sure you enjoy writing it, even if you dont get the traffic/comments you want.

    I've always enjoyed reading about the evolution of your army, both in hobby & list terms. Maybe you could keep this up in a regular journal style blog? That would both be interesting for readers, and useful for you to track your progress. You could start it from scratch with a new army or list if your bored with your current one? (obviously finances restrict this) but there's always vassal!

    you could then write some more specialist articles for the 40k global website, and link them to your blog. This will increase your traffic, and give you more of a chance of getting some community response (we all need validation!)

    we'll arrange a vassal game soon (my pc is back up and running) mate. not a wraithknight/riptide or screamer council in sight!

    David W

  2. Thanks for commenting mate, I'd forgotten about this until I got an email saying there's a comment. I'll go back and edit this now because it's horrific.

    To be honest mate, I'm still enjoying the blog, it's more the hobby that I'm disillusioned with to be honest. Over the last 6 months I've mainly been focussed on becoming the best player that I can possibly be, and I feel that's really taken a toll on me. Obviously I'm not a win at all costs kind of guy, as losing games is a better source of learning than winning. But I guess in that I've lost what the hobby is all about. At the end of the day, you can obsess and practice for it all you like, great, you won a few games of model soldiers over a weekend, and I guess I've gone so deep into tournament gaming that I've forgotten that in the grand scheme of things, that's all it is, model soldiers.

    Obviously we all love this hobby but this is what happens when you over-obsess, life is not 40k, and when 40k lets you down this is what happens. Obviously not to qualify for the GT was disappointing for me, especially when I came so close and I believe that if I hadn't got that combination of match ups in my last 2 games then I would have qualified solidly.

    But then I went to another tournament last weekend, and my aim was to win, it was only a one day event and I won all my games but I really didn't feel great about it. My last game was the worst game of 40k that I've played in 10 years in the hobby and the event itself was won by the TOs, and when I looked at how players (or teams) were paired against each other after the event it really did look extremely iffy.

    I have no idea where I pulled the 'post a day' line out of my ass, that's probably not going to last long. But as I say the blog isn't the problem, and I've got a new project on the go that I'm really excited for. I'm looking to do the journal thing with this new project, it sounds better now that you've laid it out though.

    As for the vomiting, it's obviously not great that I begin day 2 of every single event with what feels like a hangover with more barfing even though I like to get an early night. But it seems more of an issue with myself than 40k. With the tournaments it's relatively mild. A couple of weeks ago I had to be a part of my group presentation for my course that wasn't even marked and I got it worse, so it looks like it's more that I've developed some form of anxiety. Although of course this does not add to the experience. That said, I'm not going to a tournament now until Death or Glory so I'm having a bit of a break, but in that case I probably WILL begin day 2 with a proper hangover.

    But yeah mate, we'll definitely have to have a game of Vassal at some point, I personally don't mind the MC City, but I can see the hate and even for me it's getting a little dull playing Riptide after Riptide. Just drop a comment as to when you're free mate and we';; sort something out.

  3. Yeah, sounds like you've got tournament burnout bud. You're not alone, as it seems like there are quite a few blogs recently hitting this stage. Taking a break is not a bad thing, and personally I think it's better to step away and come back if you're ready. Forcing yourself to do anything is a pretty good way of completely burning out!

    After building up to the GT Heat for 12 months, I was expecting to need a breather after. I've only just fancied writing lists for myself again, got back to reading up on enemy codexes etc. after what's turned out to be a two month break. You may have already found my article on burnout on my blog, so I won't go over it again, but just thought I'd say take it easy and do it for yourself for fun, not for hits or comments. These will follow if you're interested in your own stuff, but pushing it can easily lead to losing all interest at all! Less pressure = more fun in the long run.

    1. This is really new to me. Despite only being 20 I've been playing 40k for over a decade now and this is the first real burnout that I've had. Knowing myself, my standard reaction was, of course, purge it with more 40k.

      Wow, you were prepping for the GT for a year? I read your report and you definitely deserved that finish if you've been prepping for that long. I hadn't even read the FAQ properly when I turned up even though I thought I'd been prepping for a month.